What Not To Say to A Woman TTC









For the past few days, I have been doing a series on my instagram page @beyondmyectopic about Infertility Awareness and the things not to say to a woman trying to conceive (TTC).....

In Nigeria, it appears some people feel they have a right to speak without pausing or considering the impact their words will have on the person receiving it....People have opinions about everyone....From the single ladies to single mothers to women who have gained weight to women trying to loose weight...But I think the people who receive the worst treatment and words are women trying to conceive.....And what makes it even worse is that the people that make these mean statements are actually women ....They should know better right???

You see, barrenness /inability to have kids quickly after getting married is seen as a taboo of some sort ...Granted, more couples are dealing with infertility now...But people still expect a woman to have a baby soon after getting married...It is not uncommon to hear prayers during the wedding stating that there will be more celebration coming up in about 9months when the wife should be expected to have a baby....

People are very proud of their ability to procreate and so when there is a delay in another couples home, everyone has an opinion...Infact, some families advise the wife should be pregnant prior to getting married to ensure she is able to conceive (well that's another topic is for some other post)..

When there is a delay, Women are subjected to all sorts of ridicule...Of course, no one assumes the issue could be with the Man,...Oh no...Not at all....!!! It has to be the woman...she must have been promiscuous when she was younger...Perhaps she had a lot of abortions and now her womb is damaged...Perhaps they are cursed in their family....And the list goes on....

While everyone is entitled to wild opinions/thoughts in their heads, what should not be acceptable is the mean-spirited statements that are uttered to women who are experiencing delays in conceiving or women who experience pregnancy loss.......
I myself, have had people make many ignorant comments to me.....
In sharing them on instagram, I realised many other women ttc have had similar experiences....If this is so common, and the women who are the recipient of such statements are so upset by these words...Why is it still happening?

Some of the ones I have heard are listed below...

* Relax and It will Happen (while not mean, it is not a helpful statement and it puts the blame on the woman...Infertility is a disease and in many cases, requires some treatment...

* You can Adopt (unless a person has advised you that this is something they are considering, it shouldn't be in your place to suggest adoption..because trust me, the couple have already thought about it)...

* If it is meant to be, it will happen (This is not a helpful or encouraging statement...No point saying it)

* I don't believe in IVF, science is playing God...(Hmm..sure you may not believe in it...But unless the couple or woman asks you for your opinion on the issue, you shouldn't go there....And I am sure if you are not feeling well, you will go the clinic....So there....

* What are you waiting for? (This is just mean...like really??)

* You don't know how lucky you are, kids are so expensive and stressful (Now how many of your kids, will you return now that you know they are stressful??? Obviously None...So don't say this to anyone...!!!)

* I thought you said you prayed? Why did you loose the baby? (Now this is a horrible statement...Shouldn't be said to anyone).....

There are many more statements that shouldn't be made to a woman or couple ttc....I have listed some above,...
What about you? What statements have you heard that shouldn't be said to a woman ttc???



Credits
Image Culled from:
Virgin Miri/Metro.co.uk



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