What Not To Say to A Woman TTC









For the past few days, I have been doing a series on my instagram page @beyondmyectopic about Infertility Awareness and the things not to say to a woman trying to conceive (TTC).....

In Nigeria, it appears some people feel they have a right to speak without pausing or considering the impact their words will have on the person receiving it....People have opinions about everyone....From the single ladies to single mothers to women who have gained weight to women trying to loose weight...But I think the people who receive the worst treatment and words are women trying to conceive.....And what makes it even worse is that the people that make these mean statements are actually women ....They should know better right???

You see, barrenness /inability to have kids quickly after getting married is seen as a taboo of some sort ...Granted, more couples are dealing with infertility now...But people still expect a woman to have a baby soon after getting married...It is not uncommon to hear prayers during the wedding stating that there will be more celebration coming up in about 9months when the wife should be expected to have a baby....

People are very proud of their ability to procreate and so when there is a delay in another couples home, everyone has an opinion...Infact, some families advise the wife should be pregnant prior to getting married to ensure she is able to conceive (well that's another topic is for some other post)..

When there is a delay, Women are subjected to all sorts of ridicule...Of course, no one assumes the issue could be with the Man,...Oh no...Not at all....!!! It has to be the woman...she must have been promiscuous when she was younger...Perhaps she had a lot of abortions and now her womb is damaged...Perhaps they are cursed in their family....And the list goes on....

While everyone is entitled to wild opinions/thoughts in their heads, what should not be acceptable is the mean-spirited statements that are uttered to women who are experiencing delays in conceiving or women who experience pregnancy loss.......
I myself, have had people make many ignorant comments to me.....
In sharing them on instagram, I realised many other women ttc have had similar experiences....If this is so common, and the women who are the recipient of such statements are so upset by these words...Why is it still happening?

Some of the ones I have heard are listed below...

* Relax and It will Happen (while not mean, it is not a helpful statement and it puts the blame on the woman...Infertility is a disease and in many cases, requires some treatment...

* You can Adopt (unless a person has advised you that this is something they are considering, it shouldn't be in your place to suggest adoption..because trust me, the couple have already thought about it)...

* If it is meant to be, it will happen (This is not a helpful or encouraging statement...No point saying it)

* I don't believe in IVF, science is playing God...(Hmm..sure you may not believe in it...But unless the couple or woman asks you for your opinion on the issue, you shouldn't go there....And I am sure if you are not feeling well, you will go the clinic....So there....

* What are you waiting for? (This is just mean...like really??)

* You don't know how lucky you are, kids are so expensive and stressful (Now how many of your kids, will you return now that you know they are stressful??? Obviously None...So don't say this to anyone...!!!)

* I thought you said you prayed? Why did you loose the baby? (Now this is a horrible statement...Shouldn't be said to anyone).....

There are many more statements that shouldn't be made to a woman or couple ttc....I have listed some above,...
What about you? What statements have you heard that shouldn't be said to a woman ttc???



Credits
Image Culled from:
Virgin Miri/Metro.co.uk



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Over 40s 'have more babies' than under 20s

Image
Women over 40 are having more babies than the under 20s for the first time in nearly 70 years, official figures for England and Wales show. The Office for National Statistics data showed there were 697,852 live births in 2015. There were 15.2 births per 1,000 women aged over 40, compared with just 14.5 per 1,000 women in their teens. The last time the over 40s had the higher fertility rate was in 1947, in the wake of WWII. The figures show two key trends in who is having children and when in England and Wales. The teenage pregnancy rate has been in long-term decline and has more than halved from the 33 births per 1,000 teenagers in 1990. Meanwhile, pregnancies have soared in older age groups from 5.3 per 1,000 in 1990. The average age of having a child is now 30.3 - a figure that has been increasing since 1975. Advances in fertility treatment as well as more wo
Read more
Image
What is an Ectopic Pregnancy? If a fertilized egg implants outside the uterus, it's called an ectopic pregnancy. There's no way to transplant an ectopic pregnancy into your uterus, so ending the pregnancy is the only option. This means the egg will not develop into a baby, which can be devastating to the pregnant woman. While there are some risk factors, an ectopic pregnancy can happen to anyone. And, because it's potentially dangerous for you, it's important to recognize the early signs and get treatment as soon as possible. Occasionally, an ectopic pregnancy doesn't cause any noticeable symptoms and is only detected during routine pregnancy testing. However, most women do have symptoms, and these usually become apparent between week 5 and week 14 of pregnancy. They include: abnormal vaginal bleeding abdominal pain, typically just in one side, which can range from mild to severe an absent period (amenorrhoea), and other symptoms of pregnan
Read more

Concern Zika causes baby eye problems

Image
Scientists studying the Zika outbreak in Brazil are becoming increasingly concerned the virus may cause eye damage in babies. Stanford University researchers found abnormal bleeding and lesions in the eyes of three infant boys whose mothers had caught Zika while pregnant. They want any babies known to be affected by Zika to have eye checks. The journal of Ophthalmology findings follow another recent study that saw similar eye problems in Zika babies. The disease is already known to cause a serious baby brain defect called microcephaly. What is not clear is whether eye problems might be a complication of this rather than the Zika infection itself. Either is possible. All of the three infants the researchers from Stanford and the University of Sao Paulo examined also had microcephaly.
Read more